Patti's Ponderings

blah...

2011-07-15T13:47:00.000-04:00

That is how I'm feeling about myself these days. I have just received yet another "battle scar", this one on my left shin, had a basal cell carcinoma removed on Tuesday afternoon. I can assure you that my dermatologist missed the class where they teach the art of pretty stitches. I have a 2" Frankenstein looking place in the center of my shin. This should look fabulous as we are laying on the beach in Tybee Island next month!

Also contributing to the blahs is the fact that since my foot surgery May 5th, I have gained 10 pounds!

I have got to make some serious life changes if I want to get out of this funk. I have all these ideas in my head on how to do it but for some reason I lack the motivation. Possibly the beginnings (or continuation) of depression?? Not sure, it would probably serve me well to talk to my Doctor about all of this but who has time for that?? I have way to much self pity to throw around to take time to make a doctors appointment.

XOXOXO

Patti

it's stormin again

2011-06-23T14:06:00.000-04:00

today is a day good for curling up under the covers with a good book or a snuggly puppy. wish I was there...

hahahahahaha!!

2011-06-22T12:25:00.000-04:00

So much for that "blogging at least once a week" thing...173 days later and I'm posting again :-)

Lots has happened since my last post, I made it through yet another tax season, my son turned 19 (YIKES), my 6 month checkups with my breast surgeon and oncologist went fabulously, had foot surgery, we've gone on our first vacation of the summer and I have a girls weekend trip planned for the first time in my life. All very exciting, I know.

I have so many ideas and intentions on making my life better yet I continue to rock on day by day as I have for the last 45 years and nothing actually changes. I haven't decided yet if I am just allergic to change or if I am lazy. Honestly, I think the correct answer would be the 2nd one.

I'm sure change will eventually come to me, I am ready, just not sure how to make it happen.

I'll keep you posted (sooner than another 173 days, I promise!)...

1/1/11

2011-01-01T16:43:00.000-05:00

A new beginning, a new year, a new outlook!

Today begins a new year and a new set of resolutions. I really suck at the resolution thing, they usually last about 3 days and then I am back to my old ways. As the saying goes, it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

I started my day out just like most Saturdays for the past several years, eating breakfast at the Huddle House with Jeramie and his parents. So much for that "I'm going to eat healthy" resolution. That one lasted about 2 hours :-)

I decided that I would cook black eyed peas, collards and cornbread today to start the year out deep in southern tradition. I love black eyed peas and cornbread, not so much on the collards. I will eat them today in hopes that my financial outlook for 2011 is much better than years past. I have to thank Southern Plate for teaching me the basics of cooking the traditional first meal of the new year. I had no idea that there would be pebbles in my peas!! See, I'm already starting the new year out good, no broken teeth means no emergency visit to the dentist so I'm already saving money!!

these are the pebbles I picked out of one bag of black eyed peas!

The collards are stinking up the house nicely, everyone is complaining about the smell so I'm guessing I am cooking them right.

this is what you start out with and by the time the entire house smells, this is what you are left with!

green, smelly goodness! and the black eyed peas are perfect!!

My resolutions this year are plenty, I hope to keep at least one or two of them. One is to be a better blogger and post something at least once a week. Let's hope I don't break that one too quickly. My others involve eating better (already broken), get more exercise, be more organized and manage my money better. I think these are pretty standard for everyone at the beginning of each year. Good luck to each of you in all you resolve to change about yourselves and I hope that all of you enjoy your greens, black eyed peas and cornbread.

Happy New Year!!!

Patti

SNOW!!

2010-02-12T16:07:00.000-05:00

It's snowing here in Atlanta which means the city will shut down for several days and milk, bread and eggs won't be available at the grocery store again until sometime in mid April. Just the threat of snow shuts the schools for several days and the airport becomes a hotel. Offices close early, churches cancel services and only the basic necessary services from the government are available. We, as proud Georgians, will attempt to drive in the snow as we drive on dry streets, like maniacs! Thank goodness we only get snow about 3 days a year here. Well, enjoy the pictures and I will post more when the blizzard allows me to get home :-)

Oh, and hopefully they won't cancel the hockey game tonight because of the snow...

re-inventing me!

2010-01-26T12:12:00.000-05:00

So, it's 2010 and I have decided to re-invent myself (at least that's what I think you would call it). I have signed up to participate in a triathalon, I am once again doing the 3 Day Walk, I have joined a gym and have been going at least once a week (which is MAJOR for me) and I am trying to fix my horrible eating ways...

I do have to confess, keeping track of what I am eating is a pain in the a** but I know it needs to be done. Apparently I, as a Virgo, am supposed to be very organized and detail oriented. Well, I do believe that I am the Anti-Virgo! I am probably one of the most unorganized people you will meet and when it comes to details; HA!, who needs them.

I have found that having someone to be accountable to is helping, thanks Alexis!! I only wish that I could be more motivated to hit the gym in the morning instead of after work. I have tried but its a major ordeal having to pack EVERYTHING to get ready for work at the gym. I enjoy working out in the mornings but I dislike more the night before packing.

Well, back to work and then off to the gym!!

Craziness!

2010-01-21T20:44:00.002-05:00

I have signed up to do the AFLAC Iron Girl Triathalon June 27, 2010...

What the heck was I thinking?!?!?!

Gotta run (literally)! :-)

look out DC, here we come!

2010-01-21T06:50:00.002-05:00

Yes, I'm doing it again - I signed up for the 2010 Komen 3-Day for the Cure (formerly The Breast Cancer 3-Day)! This is my 6th year participating in this event and I'm going back for more. This will be my 2nd walk as a breast cancer survivor! I'm so excited about this year; I will be walking in our nation’s capital, Washington, DC along with my brother in memory of our mother, Maryanne.

This event isn't easy, but I promise you, I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't believe 100% that it was worth every muscle ache, weary night and training walk!

I'm taking an amazing journey and I'd like you to support me. Thousands of women and men are going to walk 60 miles over the course of three days to raise money for breast cancer research and community outreach through Susan G. Komen for the Cure and the National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund.

Because every woman (and man) is at risk for breast cancer - a disease that strikes 1 out of every 8 women at random and for which the causes and cures are still unknown - I know that every moment counts. Without a cure, an estimated 25 million women and men around the world will be diagnosed with breast cancer - and 10 million could die - over the next 25 years. This disease has affected my family 3 times already; I lost my grandmother in 1980, my mom and I were diagnosed 6 days apart in October 2008; my mom lost her battle on her 67th birthday, September 10, 2009.

I need your help. I am planning on surpassing the $5,000 that you - my friends and family - gave so generously last time around to help fight breast cancer. Over the past 5 years I personally have raised over $20,000 in the fight against breast cancer.

Please go to www.the3day.org/goto/patti_tyson to visit my personal fundraising page and make a donation or you can donate by mail with the enclosed donation form. You can also join my team by visiting http://www.the3day.org/goto/tysons.tata.troops.

If you have any questions or want to hear more about what I'm doing, I love talking about the event. Thanks for all of your support. I'm incredibly lucky to have people like you in my life!

Thank you for your love and support,

Patti

P.S. Don't wait - donate today!

ah, once again, it's tax season

2010-01-18T22:07:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again! The time of year when CPA firms blast into overdrive (and overtime). The time of year when we in the field of accounting, rarely see our family and friends and see WAY too much of our coworkers. You must truly love those you work with when working at a CPA firm because during January through April you spend more time with them then your spouse and children.

I do care for the people I work for, I have been at this firm for over 8 years, we have become family over that period of time. This is good and bad, by the end of "tax season" we are fighting like brothers and sisters!

I do love my job, I think you have to to do this year after year.

Well, I better get back to it, there are more W-2's to get out!!

Out with the old, in with the new!

2010-01-07T06:51:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

I, for one, am very thankful that 2009 is gone. It was a year filled with sickness, heartbreak and death for our little family. Good riddance to 2009!!

2010 will be a year of new and great challenges. I have done something I would not have even considered in past years, I have signed up to do a TRIATHALON! What was I thinking?? Actually, I am very excited about this adventure. I have 6 months to train so I should be good there. I have never been a runner but at the young age of 44, I have decided that running might be possible. Maybe it's all the trauma of cancer, surgeries and drugs that have warped my brain into thinking this, but whatever it is, I'm going to do it!

I will also be participating in my 6th Breast Cancer Walk (Now called the Komen 3 Day for the Cure), this year in Washington, DC. My brother will be walking with me, both of us remembering our mom and honoring me being a survivor.

Well, here's to hoping that 2010 is my best year ever!!

11 days!!!

2009-10-12T13:50:00.000-04:00

Oh My Gosh!! I cannot believe that the Atlanta Breast Cancer 3 Day walk is only 11 days away! Where has this year gone?? This has been one of the most topsy-turvy, turbulent, crazy, emotional years of my life. One of my passions in life has been raising funds and awareness of breast cancer. Over the past five years, I have raised over $15,000 for Susan G. Komen for the Cure. I don't say this to boast, I say this to help people understand that breast cancer is horrible but it is treatable thanks to organizations like Komen. In 2008, the Breast Cancer 3 Day walks raised more than $110 million through donations, contributions and sponsorships and of that, $79 million went to research, education and community health programs. That is an unheard of 72%!!

This organization was founded on a promise of one sister to another to one day find a cure for breast cancer. For now, we have to settle for treating the cancer, I hope that during my lifetime, we are able to say that we can "CURE" breast cancer. The motto for the Breast Cancer 3 Day is "Everyone Deserves a Lifetime" and I could not agree more.

October 23, 24 and 25 there will be thousands of walkers taking to the streets of Atlanta to show our support for finding a cure. We will be walking from Lake Lanier Islands in Gainesville to Turner Field (Home of the Braves) in Atlanta. 3 days, 60 miles and one amazing journey! We will take the blisters, sore muscles, aches and pains if it means that one less person has to suffer.

As I write this, I am still mourning the loss of my mother a month ago. I also miss my grandmother, Anne, who we lost in 1980. I am also dealing with my own diagnosis! I want to change the world so that no one else has to go through what my family and I have gone through over the last 12 months. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and as my brother so eloquently put it last October, "I'm about as aware of this shit as I want to be!" as my mom and I were diagnosed 6 days apart, 10/03/08 and 10/09/08.

So, let's get out there and SAVE THE BOOBS!!

Patti

www.the3day.org/goto/patti.tyson
http://www.maryannetyson.com/

one year ago...

2009-10-07T14:31:00.000-04:00

One year ago this week, my life took a turn that I still have not recovered from.

October 3, 2008 my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in both breasts. 6 days later, October 9, 2008, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my right breast. We would fight this battle together yet separately, we lived 4 hours from each other... We both gave our boobs to save our lives; at least that is what we thought at the time.

Mom finally admitted to me that she had waited almost a year after finding her lumpS to go see a doctor about it. I said some pretty hateful things during that phone conversation. You see, at that point, I had already walked in 3 and about to do my 4th Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk in just 2 weeks. I was a loud and proud advocate of self examiniation, yearly mammograms and thought I knew a lot about breast cancer (fyi, I knew very little about breast cancer at that point). I was dumbfounded by the actions of my mother, how dare she ignore her lumps considering the miles I had walked and the money I had raised to cure breast cancer! Yep, I had made this more about me than about my mother's health.

Well, mom lost her battle a month ago on her 67th birthday. I miss her terribly each day! I have had things happen and think, "I need to call mom" and as soon as the thought passes through my head I realize I can't. I wonder how to handle a situation and want to ask her advice and I can't. I cannot fathom what the holidays are going to be like this year. Mom's favorite holiday was Thanksgiving. It will be especially hard this year not only because she won't be there but because I will be recovering from yet another surgery removing yet another portion of my womanhood, my ovaries and uterus. I tested positive for the BRCA1 gene (which I did NOT get from my mother, go figure) and I want to remove any and all organs that will potentially cause cancer. I know that I cannot remove the threat completely but I am going to do what I can.

This year when I walk in the Atlanta Breast Cancer 3 Day I will be participating in Opening and Closing Ceremonies in the Survivors Circle. I will be carrying the "BELIEVE" flag. Even though I have lost my mother (and my grandmother 29 years ago) to this disease, I do still BELIEVE that one day we will find a cure and I will continue to do my part by walking and raising funds each year I am physically able to do so.

A letter to my boob

2009-10-06T13:17:00.000-04:00

I found this post on one of the boards a website that I am a member of, http://www.breastcancer.org/ I wish that I could express myself the way some people do, I just have never been a good writer. I hope to change that in the future. This "A letter to my boob" pretty much sums up the feelings of women when they are facing the future without the "girls"...

Thank you Melinda41 for saying what most of us would have loved to but weren't able to form the words

A letter to my right boob

I guess it was about 30 years ago that you came into my life. A sore little nubby that was exciting and disappointing and the same time. I remember when Mom took me for my first bra fitting and that old lady just treated you like an assembly line boob, not understanding what a big deal these little protrusions were to me.

We adapted through the teen years, you were probably very attractive back then wish I could remember better. A nice D cup that I tended to keep under wraps. I never wore fancy bras or low cut tops. I don't think I was ashamed of you, I just kinda thought you were my private business and never felt comfortable with the low cut tops that women wore.

Remember the wedding dress fiasco? I wore a different bra for the fitting and so my fancy wedding night undergarment made the wedding dress fit differently. The lady who did the alterations was not pleased.

Good times and bad times we have had. The nipple crushing incident with the large cans of tomatoes- sorry about that. Being stepped on and rolled on by babies jumping on the bed - sorry about that, too. The whole breast feeding thing, sorry about the crappy parts of that, the thrush, the being raw, the breast pumping, it was all a necessary evil.

Speaking of the breastfeeding, I do appreciate you stepping up to the plate on that one. I felt like a failure after having C-sections and you helped me feel redeemed by becoming a breast feeding champ. The nerf ball size engorgement, the crazy bras, the funky clothes, we made it through it all. I remember the last time I nursed my youngest daughter. Thanks again for all that.

Remember that thing that the one guy did, pretty cool, that is a memory of you that I will always appreciate.

Remember the time I had to redirect the guy since you slid downhill since our last encounter, funny memory, but not quite as pleasant. But it wasn't your fault, you fought gravity like a champ.

Oh and sorry for trying to make you do jumping jacks. Double D's should not have to put up with that. But remember how funny the kids looked holding their chest. That is how they thought you were supposed to do jumping jacks.

Now we get to the lump part. That morning in the shower, that panic, the brief denial, doctors, tests, drills, and finally the diagnoses-Cancer. You were once a novelty, then a sexual organ, then a baby feeding machine, then you struggled against gravity to maintain an air of vital womanhood.

Now you are a tumor to be analyzed, handled by strangers, bruised, painful and about to hacked off in a cold operating room. Where I once suckled my children will be replaced by an ugly scar. Men used to feel you and get excited about what was to come, now men in lab coats feel you and their face drops and they wish me luck on the cancer journey.

I don't hold it against you, we had a good run. I could have tried to have them carefully carve out the cancer and save some of you. Please don't take it personally, you are not my friend anymore, you have to go. I will not subject myself and my children to long treatments to try and shrink your poison so I can have some of you left. You are just too far gone, in my opinion.

Thanks for the memories, the good the bad and the ugly. It is weird, I remember the "growing pains", I remember the great naked times, I remember the breastfeeding sensation, and I am aware of the sensation of cancer cells growing in those ducts that once carried milk to my young. I kept feeling like I was lactating, but it was cancer cells filling up my breast. That weird arm rub women do when they are engorged, I did that because my breast was filling up the cancer.

You were a great tool, but now you are a liability. I am glad to have the memories I have but I need to make about 40 more years of memories. I mean no disrespect to you, but good riddance.

In about 24 hours you will be gone. Take all the crappy cancer with you please. Don't leave anything behind. Right now, I do have good memories, so retract your claws and go peacefully.

I hate thinking of them cutting you off and plunking you in a cold stainless steel bowl for dissection. But you were once cradled nicely, oh I guess I shouldn't blame you. You didn't do this to me. But better a boob than a brain or something important.

So, bye boob, I'll wear that hot pink bra you liked for you last day.

Another day, another victim...

2009-10-02T06:13:00.000-04:00

On Wednesday, I became a victim of a senseless random crime. My home was entered by someone and 2 guns and a PS3 console were stolen. I’m really not sure what this world is coming to. I live in what used to be considered a small town that has had its share of big town problems recently. We have had two murders in 2 years, an unheard of event just a few years ago. One of them will probably never be solved; the killer escaped through the woods and then got in a car and drove away, leaving no trail for the K-9’s to follow. The other has pretty much been solved, a woman was gunned down in broad daylight, in front of her young child “allegedly” by her soon to be ex-mother-in-law. INSANITY!!

These are the kinds of problems that are occurring because parents are too busy or too lazy or too unconcerned about their children and what they are doing. Drugs, alcohol and sex rule their lives and to support these habits, money is necessary and they are too lazy to get a job so they steal to make a living. It doesn’t take a village to raise YOUR kids, it takes YOU! I know my son is no where near perfect but I think I am involved enough to know what he is doing (or I could just be delusional enough to think that…).

The police officer showed up and he took a report and then told me that an investigator would contact me in a “couple of weeks”. Don’t stolen gun cases get pushed to the front?? I would think that this would be a major issue for the police department. Hopefully he was wrong and I will be hearing from someone in the next day or so.

In the meantime, I guess I will start shopping at the local pawn shops and see what I can turn up. Maybe I’ll find something really cool in addition to my stolen property :-)

Oh yeah, TGIF!!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2009-10-01T13:13:00.000-04:00

On October 9, 2008 my world was changed forever. I heard those words no one ever wants to hear, "You have breast cancer". My mother was diagnosed 6 days earlier. So our journey began together yet apart. We lived 4 hours from each other so our struggles and triumphs were usually shared over the phone. She was a warrior! First, 6 rounds of chemo, then bi-lateral mastectomy then 6 1/2 weeks of radiation. My treatment, much less, just a bi-lateral mastectomy and 5 years of tamoxifen. Mom's treatment was finished at the beginning of June and she received a "clean scan" the end of July. The last week of August, everything changed. The cancer had come back with a vengeance and was in her liver, lungs and brain. She lost her battle on her 67th birthday, September 10, 2009. One more of too many that succumb to this horrible disease.

On October 23-25th I will walk in my 5th Breast Cancer 3 Day in Atlanta, my first as a survivor! It will be the toughest one yet since the mom's death is still so raw in my mind. I was so hoping that this year would be one of celebration, both of us beating this disease but God had other plans. I have been chosen to participate in the opening and closing ceremonies and I will be carrying the "Believe" flag. This has more meaning that I first realized, it was mom's password to several websites, I didn't find this out until after her death...

Please do your monthly exams and if you find something out of the ordinary, DON'T IGNORE IT!! Early detection saves lives, I am living proof!!